anger management in Reading, Wokingham, Windsor ,Berkshire

Anger is normal and a very healthy way to say that we are hurt or frustrated; Anger in itself is felt when we feel brushed off, not listened to or made fun of et…. But anger becomes a major problem in the way it is expressed. Inner Potential Hypnotherapist & NLP Practitioner works with anger issues, aggressive feelings in adolescents/children and anger problems in individuals/couple in daily practice very regularly BUT we will not work with people who are being physically violent with their partners or children or have a prison record of violence as ethically such behaviour needs a very clear legal structure within which these people can be helped.

Hypnotherapy/NLP/EFT can help with anger that is becoming disruptive in terms of relationship, marriage bliss, work environment and that is being expressed physically, emotionally or mentally in the way described below. We are brought up in a civilized society that often says “don’t be angry”, “you don’t look good angry!” so that we grow up lacking the right skills to express our hurt feelings in a healthy way. So how do we express anger or aggressive feelings: often shouting, swearing, throwing things around, pounding on doors or tables, shrieking, or pushing people aside and stomping off , sulking in silence for days before exploding into rage…..all these expressions of anger are bound to leave us feeling released in the short term but ashamed, guilty, angry with ourselves and demeaned in our self-esteem and with an estranged, hurt or demeaned husband, wife, partner or child…..

When we say some people need treatment for Anger Management we mean that they need help to express their hurt feelings in a constructive way. I have had many clients over the years who have expressed a fear of losing all ability to be angry if they come for Hypnotherapy. What Hypnotherapy will help with is simply programming the mind to process the anger in manageable doses and manageable ways both for the client and his/her family members or colleagues.

I am sure we all know somebody who cannot control their anger and just blows off out of proportion at simple things:

· They feel under attack if they are told they have done something wrong.

· They scream, shout, swear without any consideration for people around

· They start shaking, stammering even choking with their raging feelings.

· Afterwards they have either not much recollection of all they said or they feel ashamed of it.

· They will be the first one to tell you: IT FEELS AS IF SOMEONE ELSE TAKES CONTROL OF THEIR MIND AND THEY CANNOT STOP THE ANGER!!

Expressing emotions or thoughts can be done: either passively, e.g. bottling up, agreeing with everything that is said, following the other person at work or home even if we do not agree or aggressively as laid above. The only healthy way to express angry, hurt, aggressive feelings is by being assertive. Assertiveness skills are learnt from childhood when we are brought up in an environment that allows us to compromise, negotiate and argue within boundaries.

For people with anger issues often from childhood onwards they have learnt either to be passive with their feelings/thoughts or they have a very low frustration tolerance. So as they grow into adults and the pressure of life, work and relationships take over they respond either by silence treatment that ultimately explode into raging anger that the partner often does not understand at all or by reacting so defensively and so quickly that they look dangerous and threatening. They will later say that they were only expressing themselves but it is the other person who can hear the rage in the tone, who can feel the threat of attack and who can sense themselves in danger.

The fact is that the individual knows very well he/she should not behave that way and is even quite helpless with his/her own aggressiveness/anger. They probably promise never to lose it again and then, as soon as a similar situation happen they react in the same way. It is frustration both for them and people they love and care or work with.

In an angry, aggressive mode the person is in fact feeling very helpless and vulnerable; feeling threatened themselves as if their life is in danger and they just have to do something to protect themselves.

Hypnotherapy works marvellously well in these cases for two major reasons:

1. In Hypnotherapy we are working with unconscious mindwhere all our instinctive reactions have taken roots and angry/aggressive people often feel helpless once those triggers get touched upon. they have forgotten when they learnt unconsciously to blow up if someone say “you are being silly” or if they just imply it. the trigger has been programmed in the inner mind and gets set up automatically.

What a Hypnotherapist will do is access the inner mind and deprogram those triggers and set more constructive reactions to anger, like talking it out, shouting within limits, staying within boundaries of self-respect etc.

2. The added bonus here is that we train the mind to relax and become calm so that we can access the unconscious mind and this results in the clients also learning to relax their mind and body.

Over three to five sessions the client is helped to develop a more constructive unconscious mindset which he then practices over a few more weeks as he is taught self-hypnosis.

Although at this stage it seems impossible to you that anything can help you develop control over that temper of yours because you have tried and tried helplessly over the years without much success, don’t worry.

In Hypnotherapy you are the one doing the work under expert guidance but the effect is more powerful as you will be under such a deep state of relaxation that your brain becomes more receptive than it is at the moment.